What is therapy?

Therapy is simply learning - learning about yourself. It is also a journey.

Just as learning about anything else leads to understanding, so it is with self-knowledge. The better we know ourselves, the more able we are to understand why we think and behave as we do. This in turn enables us to realise just why things happen the way they do, and - the payoff - make sure that we can produce the good results again, and ensure that the not-so-good ones do not re-occur.

In the same way, just as with any journey we get much more out of it not only from reaching our destination, but by enjoying each part of the journey for its own sake along the way - the best of both worlds.

It is our thinking that produces the results we see every day in our lives. We get what we have come to expect - which is not necessarily the same as what we want. This is because of the way we assess our chances of success in any area of our lives - simply put, we judge it from our previous experience, and thereby build up our core beliefs about life and ourselves.

If we have had difficulty, for instance, with relationships, we tend to allow this to colour the way we go into a new one - watching for signs that it is going to go the same old way. And, of course, we will usually find them if we look hard enough - whether they actually exist or not - thus 'proving' that we are not very good at relationships. This all applies not only to relationships, of course, but to every aspect of our lives.

Sadly, this pattern can repeat itself over and over, each time providing more of the 'proof' that we were subconsciously seeking - because it is, almost entirely, subconscious. This explains why we are usually totally unaware of what is going on and the causes of it.

If all this seems to point inevitably to more of the same, then it certainly does not have to. The wonderful truth is that, because our results are based simply on our thoughts, then it follows that, if we change our thoughts, we change our results. The same principle that brought us to where we are today is the very one that can take us to where we want to be - it is as simple as that. It is in this that therapy plays such a powerful role.

There are many different kinds of therapy (see 'Can therapy help me?' ), each with its own techniques, but they are all aimed at one thing: changing the way you habitually think - your so-called 'map of reality'. This leads to different expectations as you begin to see things from a new perspective, noticing things that you hadn't before. Different results follow, and therefore different experiences - leading to different beliefs about life, upon which you will base your future expectations. New patterns, new life.

So, therapy is learning, and again, just as with learning in any other sphere, the more you use what you have learned, the better you become at it. It all then becomes part and parcel of 'you', and your new thinking and behaviour skills become second nature, happening naturally without conscious effort. This is precisely how we all became the person we are now, so it is nothing you haven't done before, many times. The only difference is that this time, you can consciously direct your efforts to get the results you want.

It follows from all this that therapy can be of benefit to anybody - we are all capable of becoming more than we are right now. It is arguably the best way simply to explore yourself, building on existing strengths and finding and developing new ones - again, a very exciting and rewarding journey.